Title: Date Night Dictation
Author: Del Rion (delrion.mail (at) gmail.com)
Fandom: Iron Man (MCU)
Genre: Drama, fluff
Rating: K+ / FRC
Characters: J.A.R.V.I.S., Tony Stark (Iron Man). Mentioned: Pepper Potts, Tony’s bots (DUM-E and U).
Summary: Tony has a date. His AI is being suggestive in order to make his date more successful – and to make sure Tony actually gets there in the first place.
Complete. Part of the “Genius, AI & Bots” series.
Written for: My card on Love Bingo’s (love_bingo) Round 3 (square: “Dating”)
Warnings: Suggestive language (sexual undertones).
Disclaimer: Iron Man and Marvel Cinematic Universe, including characters and everything else, belong to Marvel, Marvel Studios, Jon Favreau and Paramount Pictures. In short: I own nothing; this is pure fiction created to entertain likeminded fans for no profit whatsoever.
Beta: Mythra (mythras_fire)
Feedback: Very welcome.
About Date Night Dictation: I know very little about cars. But, I do know Tony Stark drives ridiculously expensive, rare cars – which he sometimes totals while practicing new tricks with his Iron Man suit.
(Also, no one should probably let the bots wash a $1.5 million car, seriously, but Tony has more faith in them than most people ever would.)
Story and status: Below you see the writing process of the story. If there is no text after the title, then it is finished and checked. Possible updates shall be marked after the title.
Date Night Dictation
Written for my card on Love Bingo’s Round 3. Square: “Dating”.
“May I remind you, sir, that you have an appointment in 89 minutes?”
“I do? That has to be a mistake because my schedule for today was cleared – by Pepper – two weeks in advance.”
“No cause for concern, sir: the appointment is one made by Miss Potts, with Miss Potts.”
“Then why the notification, J? I’m pretty sure I’d remember that appointment.”
“Miss Potts thought it prudent to remind you.”
“When was the last time I forgot date night?”
“Last time you had one, sir.”
“No, that’s… got to be wrong. I remember being there. Quite vividly, too.”
“Of course, sir, but that is only because you stayed in the last time, and you were in the workshop, working, when Miss Potts arrived for your date.”
“Ah. That hardly counts as ‘forgetting’.”
“Miss Potts seemed to disagree.”
“Well, this time I’ve got it covered.”
“May I also make a reminder that it will take approximately 23 minutes for you to pick her up – and Miss Potts stressed that you were to pick her up in a car, not in the suit – and that the car had to have a roof attached to it.”
“So many rules…”
“The success of a date depends on the level of enjoyment of both parties, sir. I suggest you do as she asks.”
“You’ve got the right idea, although what happened to girls getting hot for the dangerous guys?”
“I believe your escapades as Iron Man leave little room for further aspects of danger.”
“Noted. But, she should be delighted that I save lives on a daily basis, in a high tech metal suit of my own design. She’s dating a legitimate superhero!”
“You seem far more excited by that notion than she is, sir.”
“I should take myself on a date.”
“Shall I tell Miss Potts you’re blowing her off tonight in favor of some narcissistic me-time?”
“Sarcasm, obviously, is totally lost on you, J.A.R.V.I.S. There is no force in the universe – that I care to think about – that would make me blow off a date with Pepper.”
“Other than a particularly shiny new project?”
“Which car would you like, sir?”
“Does it matter? Maybe I should take one that matches her dress; she should like that.”
“The red Agera it is, then.”
“You know what Pepper’s wearing for the night?”
“Since it seemed of importance to you to match your vehicle’s color with her dress, I took the liberty of checking the security feed from her office.”
“That’s my boy.”
“Shall I have the bots clean up the car?”
“Why? Has someone been out joy-riding in it?”
“Your last experiment with the cloaking device blew black smoke all over the workshop, including the cars, sir.”
“Oh, right. Yeah, let’s get it cleaned up. Dummy, You! If you scratch the paint, I’ll be using you as target practice for the next autonomous firing system.”
“Would you prefer to wash the car yourself, sir?”
“I need to change, don’t I? Red tie, do you think?”
“I’ll select an outfit for you, to match Miss Potts’ color code.”
“If I were taking a look at that security feed, she would be calling me names. Nasty, accusatory names.”
“In that case it is best that I focus on the surveillance while you manage the actual physical interaction.”
“Now that sounded downright filthy.”
“Only because you cannot get your mind out of the gutter, sir.”
“Care to tell me how short her dress is?”
“Please go change, sir. She’ll like you much better without the oil stains. Also, washing your hair may engender Miss Potts’ interest in showing you what she doesn’t have on under her dress.”
“You’re such a tease, J.”
“With all due respect, sir: you created me.”