Title: Macaroni Art and Chlorophyll Cake
Author: Del Rion (delrion.mail (at) gmail.com)
Fandom: Iron Man (MCU)
Rating: K / FRC
Characters: J.A.R.V.I.S., Tony Stark (Iron Man), Tony’s bots (DUM-E and U)
Summary: J.A.R.V.I.S. and the bots have something special prepared for Tony when he returns from a mission.
Complete. Part of the “Genius, AI & Bots” series.
Written for: My card on Love Bingo’s (love_bingo) Round 3 (square: “Father’s Day”)
Warnings: Implied canonical violence.
Disclaimer: Iron Man and Marvel Cinematic Universe, including characters and everything else, belong to Marvel, Marvel Studios, Jon Favreau, Shane Black, Paramount Pictures and Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures. In short: I own nothing; this is pure fiction, created to entertain likeminded fans, for no profit whatsoever.
Beta: Mythra (mythras_fire)
Feedback: Very welcome.
About Macaroni Art and Chlorophyll Cake: This is my first dialogue fic, as far as I can recall. So, this is a writing exercise of sorts.
Also, there is never enough Tony/JARVIS/bots cuteness.
Story and status: Below you see the writing process of the story. If there is no text after the title, then it is finished and checked. Possible updates shall be marked after the title.
Macaroni Art and Chlorophyll Cake
Written for my card on Love Bingo’s Round 3. Square: “Father’s Day”.
“Welcome back, sir.”
“May I articulate my relief that you are still in one piece?”
“You already articulated it at the end of the fight and during the flight home, until I silenced you.”
“Yes, sir, I did. However, taking into consideration today’s importance –”
“Today’s what? I think the helmet speakers are damaged. Log that. Also, the chest area is feeling a bit… too… tight.”
“Of course, sir. Perhaps if you avoided attempting to catch a tank midair –”
“There were people inside. I softened their fall!”
“Perhaps you should think of installing external air bags into the next armor design if you truly wish to soften someone’s landing.”
“Funny, J.A.R.V.I.S. Maybe I will, considering how fond some of our villains are of tossing several tons’ worth of vehicular metal around. But, you were saying something about the importance of today? And, Dummy, stop gawking and come pry the suit open. No, not there! That’s my arm – it’s not supposed to come off!”
“As I was saying, sir, today is a significant date, and myself and the bots would be deeply troubled if something should happen to you, today of all days.”
“Okay, you’re officially creeping me out, J. What day is it?”
“Father’s Day, sir.”
“Is… that supposed to mean something? You know we – I – didn’t exactly celebrate it to honor my old man.”
“Of course, sir, but as Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes pointed out during your conversation 84 days ago, you are our father through creation, and thusly it is appropriate for us to celebrate Father’s Day in your honor.”
“You and the bots?”
“Don’t tell me there’s a piece of crappy macaroni art waiting for me somewhere.”
“No, sir; I took the liberty of assuming you would not appreciate the gesture behind such a gift, although DUM-E and U were more than willing to procure adhesive and bags of macaroni from the kitchen.”
“Don’t say you baked a cake. Did you, Butterfingers? Yeah, I’m talking to you, You; come here, I can see you hiding back there. What… what is that?”
“Considering our resources for a proper Father’s Day gift are somewhat limited – although I could have had items delivered to the house under the company name – we prepared something for you, sir. Happy Father’s Day.”
“What is it?”
“Yes, I’m… I can see that. Why a pendant?”
“It serves a secondary function, sir. It conducts electricity to and from the body – and in your case, the excess static from the arc reactor. It is designed to put out a low current that should ease the pain from the nerve damage in your chest area.”
“Wow, I’m… speechless. You designed this?”
“Yes, with all the resources available to me. The bots helped with the construction.”
“That’s… thanks, guys.”
“DUM-E also rather likes that it subtly changes color according to your body heat.”
“So, a high-tech mood ring. I’m touched.”
“Would you like to get out of the remnants of your armor now, sir?”
“Sure. You, hold onto that while Dummy and J.A.R.V.I.S. get me out of this crushed sardine can.”
“There is also cake. I believe it is actually edible and not a bio hazard. I did tell U not to make his customary chlorophyll smoothies to go with it, though.”
“Good call. Thanks, J. And… there isn’t any chlorophyll in the cake, either, is there?”
“I knew I could count on your good judgment someday.”
“Of course, sir.”