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Del Rion [userpic]

To Forget What You Did

Story Info

Title: To Forget What You Did

Author: Del Rion (delrion.mail (at) gmail.com)

Fandom: Heroes

Era: Season 1 between episodes .07% and The Hard Part.

Genre: Angst, Erotica

Characters: Angela Petrelli, Nathan Petrelli, Peter Petrelli, the Haitian (, Claire Bennet, Mohinder Suresh, Sylar)

Pairing: Nathan/Peter

Rating: T / FRT

Summary: After Nathan held his dead brother in his arms, and then watched him come back to life, it reminded him of the fact that life is fragile and fleeting. Something had to change – or so he thought.

Written for: Heroes_Contest’s (heroes_contest) One-shot Challenge 11: Missing Scene

Warnings: Incest, implied death & resurrection, implied violence, implied voyeurism. Spoilers for Season 1 (up to episode .07%) and for Season 3 (concerning Angela Petrelli’s powers).

Beta: Mythra (mythras_fire)

Disclaimer: The show, its characters, its places, and everything else belong to Tim Kring, NBC, and the other respective creators and owners of the TV show ‘Heroes’. I have made no profit by writing this story, and make no claim over the show.

About To Forget What You Did: This is what could have happened – but obviously didn’t. Or maybe…? Everyone can decide for themselves.

My first story featuring petrellicest, and my first real piece of slash in Heroes fandom. Petrelli brothers were my first ship when I began to read Heroes fan fiction – or watch the show – so this is kind of a natural progression for me, in a way.

I hope everyone reading this enjoy themselves!

Story and status: Below you see the writing process of the story. If there is no text after the title, then it is finished and checked. Possible updates shall be marked after the title.

To Forget What You Did

~ ~ ~

Written for Heroes_Contest’s One-shot Challenge 11 (Missing Scene).

To Forget What You Did

The mere thought of Peter dead didn’t suit any of us. Not our plans, not our dreams – not our nightmares. He was meant to be alive and have his role to play in the events to come. If he was dead – and stayed dead – then how could those great plans come to pass? So much depended on his presence there, although it seemed Nathan had momentarily forgotten that: all that mattered to him was that Peter was dead.

Of course it was Claire who figured it out; she had already died, maybe more than once, so she knew how it worked, or at least suspected she had the right idea. She never said anything about dying in detail, or how it felt to regenerate, but I could see it in her eyes. People change when they witness death, or happen to be part of it – their own deaths included.

Nathan, of course, had seen death before, and even been part of it, but it seemed that Peter’s ill-timed death left its mark on him. The way he kept whirling that piece of glass in his fingers spoke of two things; he now realized that Peter may not have been killed after all if he had become the Exploding man, but at the same time it was now clear that Nathan didn’t want ‘Peter’ and ‘death’ connected in the same sentence.

I trusted in Nathan’s ambition and judgment, believing he could get over the sentimental feelings for his brother and move on; that he would look higher, further, and deeper than this.

It would seem I was mistaken.

- - -

Nathan’s up long after everyone else has gone to bed. The big house is silent, eerie almost, but he grew up here and doesn’t fear the long stairs and shadowy hallways. He moves out of the room that is now his study, and there’s almost an imprint in his palm from the blade that killed Peter. He keeps rubbing that palm as he walks, as if it aches.

His steps are determined, carrying him to the door that has always marked the beginning of Peter’s territory. Usually Nathan knocks even though he doesn’t always wait for permission to enter. This time, he simply walks in, closing the door purposefully behind him.

The room is dark and Peter is asleep. His face is still a bit pale and he looks worn out even though the blood has been washed from his hair and face. Perhaps death does that to people. Nathan cocks his head, rubbing his palm again, then steps to the side of the bed. They had Peter’s hair cut to make it less apparent that Sylar tried to cut his skull open but only managed to do lasting damage to the long brown curls.

Nathan’s hand traces the edge of Peter’s hairline, then brushes some of the hair aside. His fingers are ghosting, maybe searching for the spot where Claire pulled out the piece of glass.

Peter wakes up with a soft groan, but doesn’t start, as if he knows it is Nathan and not some Boogeyman that is out to get him. The room seems to brighten as he smiles up at Nathan, shifting slightly on the bed to look at him. Nathan is stone faced, but Peter has always been patient with his brother, and never allowed Nathan to overly disappoint himself. It’s always been that tug of wills; Peter the patient, Nathan the determined, although both of them are quite stubborn to believe what they want.

“Nathan,” Peter says at length. His voice is barely above a whisper, still raspy from sleep. He clears his throat when Nathan’s hand moves again, fingers still sliding into his hair, searching. Peter moves to sit up a little, opens his mouth to say something, and Nathan’s hand fists the hair on the back of his head, making him wince a little. They both halt. Nathan stares, and Peter looks back.

Then, finally, Nathan’s fist loosens its hold, and the fingers move again, in small circles, but there is no wound or blood or a piece of glass buried into his skull. It is gone, as is the wound, and the blood that went down the drain with the soap water hours ago.

“Nathan?” Peter says again, asking this time; questioning softly because he is curious, but doesn’t want Nathan to back off either.

And Nathan doesn’t. He pulls Peter’s face closer, hands shaking ever so slightly. Peter blinks, slowly, then closes his eyes just before their lips meet in a slow, lingering kiss. They both know it is different; it shows on their faces when they pull apart. Again, Nathan is staring and Peter looks back at him. They are both waiting for something.

Usually it would be Nathan who gives the sign of how to proceed; he has always been the one in control, and Peter’s always happy to follow his brother’s lead. This is different, though. This is Peter’s realm, because he has always known in his own way what Nathan needs, even though Nathan would never admit it. Peter kneels on the bed, close to Nathan, and hugs him.

It seems Nathan has something else in mind, though. One of his hands remains on Peter’s head, still gently fisted in his hair. That makes Peter’s attempted hug a little awkward, but Nathan didn’t seem too keen on that to begin with. He tugs Peter closer and his lips collide with Peter’s once again, as if he wants this instead of the offered embrace.

Peter seems to melt a little. His eyelids droop and fall shut, his shoulders lose some of their tension, and it is as if he has no will of his own when Nathan pushes him down onto his back on the bed, following him down. The mattress creaks just slightly under their weight, but that doesn’t stop Nathan, who is tilting his head and kissing Peter harder. His body moves, pushing between his bother’s legs, and the hand in Peter’s hair is holding tighter, fingers pressing against the scalp.

With a slight moan of discomfort, Peter wrenches his head to one side, panting for air. He looks tempted to say something, but he doesn’t. Instead he just watches Nathan again, unmoving, as if trying to read his mind – who knows, he probably is. His eyes narrow just slightly, a frown of concentration on his face. Nathan looks back at him, probably not even realizing what is going on.

Nathan’s actions that follow are plain and simple, and Peter’s brow smoothens as if he suddenly knows what is going to happen. Nathan’s hands are tugging off his shirt and pants, and although Peter barely participates, he finally manages to do it. Nathan himself it still fully dressed, which creates an odd contrast between Peter’s naked body and the suit clad form of his brother. It doesn’t hold Nathan back, though, even if he has to remove his hand from Peter’s hair to fight off his suit jacket. Peter is helping him with the tie and shirt buttons, and once those are out of the way, they kiss again.

Nathan takes it a little slower now, his weight shifting, hips grinding against Peter’s. “Peter,” he says roughly; the first word he has uttered since coming into the room. It seems that all his fears are merged into that name, and his eyes shine when he pulls back to look at his brother. “I thought we lost you,” he adds after a moment.

Peter just nods. “I’m okay. I’m alive,” he reassures.

Nathan still looks agitated, as if a huge weight was pressing against his shoulders – pressing him onto Peter. His body’s movements grow desperate, as if he thinks one of them – or both – are running out of time. As if Peter is going to fall down dead all of a sudden…

Nathan moves to kiss his brother again, and it seems as if he has made up his mind in case there was some confusion before. Peter looks uncertain, as if he doesn’t know where this all is coming from, but his brother is determined. Nathan’s pants are shed, and his aroused body shifts even closer to Peter’s, and neither of them are naïve enough to pretend they don’t know what is going on.

The only unclear matter seems to be the one that Peter voices: “Why?”

Nathan doesn’t respond immediately – not in words. Instead he moves, and Peter’s breaths turn into little moans of pain, but he doesn’t push his brother away, nor does he fight him; Peter’s body will heal from every wound, so if there is pain, it is only momentary. The sounds he is making change, and his eyes shine brighter, gazing at Nathan who is again holding his head, fingers against his scalp, trying to find the wound long healed.

Their rhythm is one of desperate hurry. Panting breaths escape between their lips, and Peter’s legs are constantly shifting by the time his back arches and Nathan lowers his head to Peter’s shoulder, his muscles tense.

“I will always protect you Pete,” Nathan swears as Peter moans and then lies down again, limp against the mattress. “I love you,” he adds, shifting to the side.

“I love you too,” Peter replies, voice soft and a little strained as if he’s fighting tears.

“No one will hurt you,” Nathan mutters as he presses close to Peter. “Ever again,” Nathan’s words seem to echo in the silence of the house.

- - -

I had that dream four days before Mohinder Suresh brought Peter home, his dead body laid out on the couch, waiting for a miracle awakening. Of course I didn’t know that Claire would save him, since I hadn’t managed to connect her to the dream – a vision – that I had.

But once it took place… Once I knew Nathan went into Peter’s room the night after my youngest son came back to life, I knew why I had had the dream. It would change everything. Nathan would let nothing hurt Peter now. He would keep him safe, even if it would ruin the plans that would carry him to the Oval Office. All that for Peter, and this one night of forbidden passion…

As I stand in the doorway of Peter’s room, watching them sleeping on his too-narrow bed, I feel an ache in my chest. Even in the darkness of the room that is only broken by the soft light coming from the hallway behind me, I can see Nathan’s protective hold of Peter’s body. It would be touching if I didn’t know what had taken place here only some minutes ago. The smell of sex still hangs in the air, different from what I’m used to.

There’s movement beside me, and I turn my head ever so slightly, looking at the Haitian by my side. He was such a devoted boy who I saved from a life much worse than this one could ever. His eyes barely flicker as he looks at the scene before him. Nothing seems to shock him these days; he has seen so much, in reality and in people’s heads.

“Take away the last few hours. They need to remember the rest.” If Nathan believes that Peter can outlive exploding, he will follow the plan.

The Haitian nods, taking a step forward, his feet silent on the carpet. He goes to Nathan first, a gentle, careful hand on his forehead, then moves to Peter. My youngest shifts slightly but does not wake up. I look at them, memorizing this and then locking it away in my mind. Neither of them will ever know; it will be just me and the Haitian, and thus I believe that the secret will be safe.

The End


Posted by: sarkywoman (sarkywoman)
Posted at: February 9th, 2009 04:35 pm (UTC)
Nathan Peter sexy hug

I'm going to believe that this is what happened now.

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 9th, 2009 08:47 pm (UTC)
Milo&Adrian darlin'

LOL, yeah.... no way they can deny that! Considering that Nathan just asked Peter to have "just dinner" with him in the last ep. XP

Thanks for reading!

Posted by: Ibonekoen (ibonekoen)
Posted at: February 9th, 2009 07:43 pm (UTC)
Brotherly kiss (Peter & Nathan)

This was a pretty intense and emotional fic, beautifully written. I'm agreeing with sarkywoman, this story is canon now XD

What an excellent job writing this!

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 9th, 2009 08:48 pm (UTC)
Milo 11

Aww, and here I was honestly thinking I screwed up the fic somewhere in the middle... XD Guess I didn't make too bad of a mess of it, then.

Yes, this should be canon.

Thank you for reading and dropping a comment :)

Posted by: Ibonekoen (ibonekoen)
Posted at: February 10th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)

Posted by: kirara3345 (kirara3345)
Posted at: February 9th, 2009 08:56 pm (UTC)

Nooooo, don't do this, Haitian!
You can't take their so precious memory from them!

*sniffs* I was hurting for them.

Anyway, this was a beautiful story. So sweet and angsty. I always love Nathan being a protective big brother.

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 9th, 2009 08:58 pm (UTC)
Peter Petrelli hurt 3

I wanted to make it angstier, but by the time I was crossing into the actual sex, my brain just decided not to cooperate anymore :/ So, this was it *is a bit unsatisfied*

But it is nice that it did show in the fic that it was supposed to be angsty! :) Thanks for reading and commenting - makes me a happy writer.

Posted by: Mary-Ann (crashgirl82)
Posted at: February 11th, 2009 10:42 am (UTC)

Oh my God I want to cry...yup, crying. beautiful. reminds me why I love Nathan Petrelli, why I love them both together. I love the way Nathan keeps reassuring himself that Peter is all right.

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 11th, 2009 10:49 am (UTC)
Milo&Adrian darlin'

Aww *hands a napkin* No handkerchiefs nearby ;)

Glad you liked, and found the Nathan we all remember and miss now that it - at least for a moment - seems that the brothers are going against each other.

Thanks for reading and commenting! <3

Posted by: miss_miso (miss_miso)
Posted at: February 12th, 2009 11:01 am (UTC)

This is absolutely lovely. The whole passage describing Peter and Nathan's desperate encounter is gorgeous. And it's even better on the second read when you realise it's Angela's voice, describing her vision. The calm, almost detached way in which Angela narrates the scene somehow makes it more erotic. She's not horrified or disgusted - she seems to accept it as a natural evolution of their relationship, only seeking to interfere when she recognises the effect it will have on their plans for the future.

He pulls Peter’s face closer, hands shaking ever so slightly. Peter blinks, slowly, then closes his eyes just before their lips meet in a slow, lingering kiss. They both know it is different; it shows on their faces when they pull apart. Again, Nathan is staring and Peter looks back at him. They are both waiting for something.

Wonderful! The minimal dialogue only enhances the haunting intimacy you've created.

Thank you so much for posting this.

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 12th, 2009 11:31 am (UTC)

I was kind of worried about the "voice" of the dream/vision sequence. At times, I think I gave too many details, but then, we don't know how exactly Angela's dreams work; is she a complete stranger there, or does she know things, as if she was part of the whole thing.

Anyway, I'm sure the whole thing makes more sense when read more than once, and I'm happy to know that you actually did that ^^

I'm not completely satisfied with this story, but it seems that people didn't outright dismiss it :) Thank you for your comment, and even moreso: thank you for reading.

Posted by: miss_miso (miss_miso)
Posted at: February 12th, 2009 09:20 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 12th, 2009 09:33 pm (UTC)

Posted by: abordantoinette (abordantoinette)
Posted at: February 12th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)

beautiful! excellent fic. great writing.

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 12th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC)
Peter electric

Thank you :D The compliment is much appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Posted by: I bleed el tricolor y tengo el corazon blanco. (coldryuuza)
Posted at: February 12th, 2009 11:39 pm (UTC)
Devotion at its Purest

oh Nathan. poor bastard. He's always being manipulated. D:

oh Angela would do that; and Nathan, oh god. This fic makes it so much worse in context with how season 3 is going right now :(

you know, this is what happened in canon, yes. it did.


Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 13th, 2009 05:42 am (UTC)
Milo&Adrian darlin'

Oh yes--- *halts*
*jaw drops*
OMG YOUR ICON... so pretty.... <3

Anyway, I was saying... Yes, of course I, too, would like this to be canon. I'm not sure if Milo and Adrian would object too much either, those wicked boys XD

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm a happy author, knowing that you liked and could "relate" to the story ^^

Posted by: 보니 (ialwayswill)
Posted at: February 14th, 2009 01:32 pm (UTC)
Heroes - Peter & Nathan gun

this is amazing and so sad. i love it.<3

i hope the boys make up soon. :'(

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 14th, 2009 05:53 pm (UTC)
Milo - Don't mess... Don't meddle...

Oh yes, the boys are having a tough time in the show right now :S Angst angst angst.... *waits for angry!angsty!sex* XD

Thanks for reading and dropping a comment :)

Posted by: masterlyxie (lyxie)
Posted at: February 17th, 2009 12:01 am (UTC)

That's really sad. Poor Peter and Nathan...it makes me sadder with how things are now. How convenient for Angela that Peter will heal and not feel it in the morning. Bah. Great job

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 17th, 2009 07:58 am (UTC)
Milo&Adrian darlin'

Yes, Angela has it all planned out ;) To every little detail... What a resourceful woman.

Of course, it makes the lives of her sons a bit harder - well, if they knew about it XD

Thanks for reading and commenting! I'm just preparing to watch the newest episode of Heroes - with great excitement. So far, we've had great Nathan/Peter moments in the previous two episodes :)

Posted by: mavisli (mavisli)
Posted at: February 17th, 2009 09:37 am (UTC)

Sometimes, I think Angela is such a callous mom. She doesn’t care about Nathan or Peter even her husband Arthur. Although she told Peter you are my favor…..but it’s not true, she said such sentient words just for some special motive. She plans everything….

But it doesn’t matter, their have each other and love each other. It’s enough.

I love the words you used to describe Nathan’s fear. From your article, I can find the man who loves his little brother more than anything!

I love this amazing article and could I have your kindly approval to translate it into Chinese?


Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 17th, 2009 10:16 am (UTC)
Peter Petrelli 3 (red tilt)

Thanks for reading.

Yes, Angela plans her every move carefully. Saying a certain thing at a certain time has certainly helped her along ;)

Of course you can translate (thank you for asking in advance). As long as my name is there, and nothing is altered, I have nothing against it. Perhaps a link to the original work/website coule be added too?

Posted by: mavisli (mavisli)
Posted at: February 18th, 2009 01:32 am (UTC)

Dear, thanks for your approval.

Of course your name and this original link will keep. And I’ll show you the Chinese article’s website when I finish it. Thanks.

Posted by: helen_damnation (helen_damnation)
Posted at: February 22nd, 2009 01:24 am (UTC)

Totally canon. *nodnod*

I love it. It's so very Angela, and captures exactly what was going on in Nathan's head.

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: February 22nd, 2009 06:59 am (UTC)

:D Yeah, don't we wish think this was what actually happened *smirks and nods*

Poor Nathan indeed, he had to make a choice there. Only, he no longer remembers which choice that was...

Thank you for reading and commenting!

Posted by: Anansi (anansie_s)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 04:03 pm (UTC)
peter petrelli?

Late comment:
This was so lovely. I think that your Angela narration worked really well without being obvious. The language was suggestive and the emotion (Nathan & Peter) came through so well. I also will believe that this really happened :)

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 04:40 pm (UTC)
Peter Petrelli hurt 3

Late comments are just as good... if not better ;) Shows that people are still reading.

*bows* It's really nice people have taken this fic so well; I'm not sure if I nailed the narrative at all (proved to be kinda tough). But this "version" is absolutely gorgeous, considering the boys :D All those slashy implications they cast our way *tsk tsk*

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Posted by: Anansi (anansie_s)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 05:21 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 05:43 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Anansi (anansie_s)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 06:05 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 06:15 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Anansi (anansie_s)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 06:37 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 07:09 pm (UTC)

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: Del Rion (del_rion)
Posted at: March 9th, 2011 02:10 pm (UTC)
Milo 11

Better late than never, I like to say - especially when it comes to comments and reviews! :D

I do have plenty of Heroes fics by now, I admit... on my website under story dates you can find them in chronological order (although not necessarily so when it comes to "Broken World" series since I've written it from here and there depending on the things I come up with), or you can just browse the tag on my LJ. I don't think it really matters in whichever order you read stuff XD Whatever sounds most appealing ;)

I'm glad you thought Angela's voice was hers - that is always tricky, especially when writing a character that isn't your favorite. You tend to pay less attention to them, and so it's harder to write them the right way and make them sound "real".

Hope you like my other fics, and definitely waiting forward to some lovely reviews, or con-crit - whatever you feel like dishing out ♥ ^^ ♥

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