Title: Always Mine
Author: Del Rion (delrion.mail (at) gmail.com)
Fandom: Queer as Folk
Era: 2005- (after QAF)
Genre: Drama, angst
Rating: M / FRM
Summary: Imaginary snippets of what might have happened after the fifth season. Short glimpses of life and love on Liberty Avenue – and the world around it.
In a way connected with “Briefly Yours”.
Warnings: Slash, language, references to violence and underage sex, death, drug abuse, drunkenness, (and a lot else not perhaps mentioned here).
Disclaimer: The characters, original story, and the places belong to the makers, creators, and producers of the series – Russell T. Davies, Ron Cowen, Daniel Lipman, Showtime, and Showcase. No harm intended; no profit made. I’m just borrowing.
Beta: Mythra (mythras_fire)
Written for Del Rion’s Table of Inspiration #1.
Inspiration words: Storm, candles, pain (the good kind).
Inspiration by: Nikki (nikki6).
Last time Justin called, it was to notify Brian that his flight had been delayed. One look at the weather report, and Brian could tell L.A. was having its share of rain, wind, and lightning for the month.
Inconveniently, that happened to be the day Justin was supposed to return from his three-week trip to the City of Angels. His show had been a success, he was feeling right at home with the warm welcome, the old resentments pretty much forgotten, but what pleased Brian most – even if he wouldn’t openly admit it – was that his blond lover ‘missed him a lot’. Justin’s own words, so Brian wasn’t just making it up for his own satisfaction.
If everything had gone according to their plans, Justin would have been in Pittsburgh by now – his home again after eighteen successful but lonely months in New York. Brian had planned to drive them home from the airport, fuck the younger man hard in the shower – Justin would have demanded that he freshen up after his flight, anyway – and then he would have taken them out for a candle lit supper at one of the finest restaurants in town.
Now, instead of that, he sat in the loft by himself, waiting for word from Justin about the new possible time of departure. After three weeks, it should have been easy to wait a couple more hours, or even a day. If he was trying to be reasonable, Brian shouldn’t have been this excited about the other’s return, but he was, and he didn’t have to start thinking deep to decide if it was healthy or not; he loved Justin, missed Justin, almost physically hurt when Justin wasn’t around even if he was supposed to be, and craved that pale body like he craved no other’s.
Perhaps he was getting old, dependant, and pathetic, but he knew the moment he saw Justin and held him close, it would all be worth it. He could dismiss all his current feelings of bitterness and focus on the present.
That decided – not for the first time since Justin left to work in New York, and probably not the last either – he went back to waiting. It wouldn’t do him any good to pointlessly wonder why he felt the way he did; even if Justin would no doubt enjoy exploring it if he knew, Brian thought it was merely a waste of time and energy. He had faced those demons long ago and dealt with them. These were mere echoes here to taunt him when they had the chance.
It was late in Pittsburgh, but on the West Coast they were a few hours behind. Brian wondered if Justin had fallen asleep nonetheless; otherwise he surely would have called again by now. Justin used to have a phenomenal skill for sleeping wherever and whenever, back when he was still a teenager.
Deciding that Justin had gone to sleep and would let him know when there was something to tell, Brian got up and went to grab a drink. He didn’t feel like going out, and since he had already cancelled their table reservation, he could just stay home and wait. He was surprisingly fine with that.
His phone rang when he was in the middle of a beer. Brian eyed the phone, then with his bottle in tow he walked over to where it vibrated on the living room table. He seated himself on the couch before reaching out for the cell, and was a bit surprised to see Justin’s name flashing on the screen.
“Hi, Sunshine. Having a bad dream?” he asked playfully.
“You thought I was asleep?” Justin’s voice drifted through the line after a brief moment of hesitation.
Brian just made a sound at that, sipping his beer.
“A power failure started about an hour ago. There’s such a ruckus going on that no one could sleep in it.”
Brian snorted, picturing Justin a few years younger and sleeping in the airport while everyone else was freaking out around him.
“They say they’ll get the electricity back on in an hour, latest. After that it will take a while to figure out if we will fly out tonight. Probably not, since we haven’t even boarded the plane and the storm’s still going on outside.”
“You’re okay?” Brian asked, trying to make it sound casual and indifferent – anything but worried. Even if he was a bit concerned for his lover, he didn’t need Justin freaking out 2.4 thousand miles away from him.
“Yeah,” Justin answered. “Got some food earlier. The line was at least a mile long, I swear. I hope they have a stock or we’ll starve.”
“That won’t happen unless the whole lot of you decide to camp there for a couple days,” Brian comforted him even if Justin didn’t sound overly worried.
“There’re a lot of people here. No one in their right mind is going outside. Actually, I don’t even know if the doors work with the power gone.”
Brian wondered that if the power was indeed out, shouldn’t it affect their cell phone discussion as well? He decided not to ask and save his breath for something else. “What are you having?” he asked instead.
“A day old sandwich and some salad. Doesn’t exactly taste that good, but I’m hungry.” Justin still had an appetite even if he wasn’t growing that much anymore.
“Well, think on the bright side: you don’t have to look at what you’re eating since the lights are out.”
Justin laughed. “Someone asked for candles, but they gave us a few flashlights instead. So, there’s just enough light to see that I’m eating food and not something else. You can’t believe how much of a mess people can create after being left alone in the dark for a while.”
Brian could imagine it, but didn’t particularly want to.
“I miss you.”
Coming from Justin, it wasn’t a shocker. It came quite suddenly, though, surprising him. “You’ll be here soon. Be a big boy.” Of course Brian would not mention how much he wanted the other to be here, preferably right this moment and not when the goddamned weather said so. “I planned to take you out when you arrived,” Brian confessed. It was sort of funny. “To a candle-lit supper.”
“I’m looking forward to that despite the delay,” Justin replied. Brian could imagine the soft, pleased smile on his face. He loved it that Brian was making plans for them.
“Whenever you get here,” Brian promised.
Some years ago he might have told Justin he had blown his chances, and that he could go fuck himself if he thought they would do it another time. He might have even added he was going down to Babylon to look for entertainment since Justin wasn’t there.
That was not the case anymore, though. Brian might go to check how things went over at the club, but he knew Ted had everything under control. Now he would just keep waiting until he could pick Justin up from the airport. Good obedient boyfriend…
It was almost painful how things had changed for them, especially since their life was far from ideal even now; Justin worked for his career, sometimes from home, sometimes in another city – occasionally in another country. The most important thing, though, was that Justin called Brian’s loft ‘home’. Brian knew his lover was always coming back, whatever the reason for his absence.
“I gotta go. Save my cell battery for later, whenever there’s something to tell,” Justin said. He sounded tired, and Brian bet he could use a nap when he arrived. Unless, of course, he fell asleep waiting for the plane.
“Take care, you. Don’t talk to strangers and always remember to use a condom,” Brian lectured.
“I love you too,” Justin told him, knowing what Brian tried to keep from saying.
“And I, you,” Brian amended, his tone almost fond. Soon enough Justin would be home, and they could lie down together on this couch and the blond would tell him all the fantastic stuff about L.A.
And then Brian could show him why Pittsburgh was so worth coming back to.